Asian Wonders

My whole world was turned upside down during my summer vacation last year. I literally felt like I was going up and down on this emotionally endless roller coaster that I can't get off from. Up until now, the same pain has been dragging along with me to this very day.

 

I was devastated on Mother's Day when my grandma was first admitted into the Naval Medical Center in Balboa. I was shocked by the news as my family was driving to the hospital. The doctors didn't know what was wrong and she seemed fine so she was able to come back home a few days after. The following weekend she was sent to the emergency room. The next time I saw her, my grandmother's neck swelled up so much it looked like it was about to explode. I wasn't able to communicate with her and I was just so scared that I was speechless. The doctors even had to restrain her since she got frustrated trying to take off her gown and resisted to take her medications. It was a really hard day for my family. Just watching my grandma be in so much pain was brutally heartbreaking. It's even worse knowing that there was nothing that we can do. But thankfully she got through it and finally got better the next day.  

 

That's when my family learned that my grandma had an aggressive case of lymphoma that's running across her whole blood stream. Everyday since then, I visited her right after I was done with my internship, school, or work. Many of her friends and family would visit her often as well. There would be so many of her friends that would come that we take up the whole waiting room. They were even kind enough to bring us food to eat instead of going to the McDonald's downstairs everyday (which we still went to occasionally for a midnight snack).

 

It felt so comforting to have my close family members around me for the support. But of course all my attention was focused on my grandma and taking care of her to make her feel better. I was right there by her side to walk her to the bathroom, feed her the gallery food that she never wanted to eat, or just simply to be somebody that she can talk to. She was always so funny when other visitors would come around. Even though she was sick she always found a way to make us laugh despite the pain she was in.

 

During the same time period that my grandma was in the hospital, my grandpa started to feel a bit weaker. My grandpa was fighting lung cancer for over 5 years and had stayed so strong through the years. Throughout the years, he would come back home after going to hospital from his chemo sessions and respond well to the treatments. It was until he saw my grandma in a hospital bed that changed all of that. He suddenly had to use a walker and needed help to get into the car.

 

A few weeks after my grandma first got admitted into the hospital, my grandpa was sent to the ICU. The doctors said that his head bloated due to an excessive amount of water. They used a wrap around his head that made him look like he was wearing a turban. After a couple days, he was sent to the North wing on the 4th floor where my grandma was at. Their rooms were just right across from each other and they couldn't have been any happier. They would each tell me how they get out of their rooms to meet each other in the middle of the day. It was pretty evident that they were feeling a lot better.

 

Eventually my grandpa got strong enough to be transferred to the rehabilitation center at the Paradise Valley Hospital, which was very convenient since my grandparents' house was down the street from there. But my grandpa hated it so much. I remember him being grumpy all the time and just wanted to go home. He was then taken to another rehab center in La Jolla to complete his physical therapy, which made him feel a little bit more comfortable, but of course still kind of unhappy.

 

Fortunately my grandma recovered from her chemotherapy after a month of tests and laying down in bed all day. After taking the SAT (on the day of my birthday), I was so happy because it was the first time that my grandma got some fresh air outside of the hospital building. I will have to admit, it was so funny when me and my cousin took her out. We kept on slowing down because I would struggle carrying the IV and my cousin would have a hard time pushing the wheelchair. It was quite the adventure. Not only that, the doctors told us that the cancer left her brain and that it was a big improvement for my grandma. That was the best birthday present, to hear that my grandma was getting better. But it was even better to see my grandma's beautiful smile.

 

A couple weeks after that, my grandma finally came back home for the first time in over a month. Although that she got better, she still needed help. So there would be many nights that me and my cousin stay over night downstairs with her to take her to the bathroom and give her water. We both did this with no complaints. It's pretty much the same routine when we stayed overnight at the hospital, except the only difference is that the couches are more comfortable.

 

Then things changed the moment that summer break started. The first Saturday of my summer was spent working at Aquatica as a lifeguard. I was so excited when I clocked out because my family was planning to go to Disneyland the next day. I remembered walking home on the trespassing trail in a good mood, but my smile disappeared when I heard my phone ring. "Kaitlyn, get home as soon as you can and get ready. I'm going to pick you up in a few minutes. Your grandma is in the hospital." I immediately started to freak out. I didn't know what to do. My mom didn't want to tell me anything else after that. I just ran back home as fast as I could.

 

My mom drove us to Paradise Valley Hospital. As I walked into the ICU, all I saw was a long hallway and my grandma's room was directly at the end of it. Her room had a window so large that I was able to see the whole room. At that moment I didn't care about anything else. My entire focus was on my grandma who was laying in a large bed with IVs surrounding her. Before I could enter, I had to put on a protective yellow gown, gloves, and a mask. It felt so weird putting all of that on, but none of that mattered. My first instinct when I stood right by my grandma was to burst into tears. I honestly believed that the worst was behind us... but I guess not.

 

I started to get a headache after a couple of hours, so I got the chance to talk to my cousin in the waiting room. My cousin was the last person that my grandma was with before she got to the hospital. I just let her explain the story. "It was just me and grandma at the house since my dad had to leave for work. She was in the living room while I was getting a snack from the fridge. Apparently, she tried to walk to the bathroom without me knowing. Before I knew it, I heard her collapse right by the bathroom door and I found her unconscious. I had no idea what to do because there wasn't anybody else in the house to help me. So I did what I had to do and call 911. When they asked for the address, I freaked out because you know, I can never remember grandma and grandpa's address. So I looked through their mail and told them the address from there. After a couple of minutes, the ambulance came and took us to the hospital. And now we're here." I saw the small smile on her face that everyone has when in reality they feel sad. I told her that, "I should have been there with you. If only I didn't work today, you wouldn't have had to go through that by yourself."

 

After about an hour or so, it was me and cousin's turn to keep our grandma company. Even though my grandma wasn't able to talk that much, we just reflected back on the good times all three of us were together. There would even be times that we laugh so hard that my grandma got a bit annoyed. It was at that moment I heard the last words my grandma would ever say to us. "You girls behave."

 

We left the room after my grandma told us that she wanted to rest. It was the last time I got to see my grandma conscious. It was already past midnight at that point and we were all in the waiting room. My parents got news from the doctors that my grandma's infection was getting worse and that they had to put her under a ventilator. Once the nurse told us that we can see my grandma, we all stood up and walked over to her room. At that point, there's no way of turning back. Thankfully my mom was able to get a priest to say a prayer for my grandma. I just held her hand the entire time and I got happy every single time my grandma squeezed my hand back.

 

At one point I got really light headed from crying so much and breathing in too much carbon dioxide from wearing the mask too long. I went back to the waiting room and I just felt like knocking out. It was then that the adults decided for us to get some rest. My uncle took me and my cousin back to my grandparents' place and it was 2:30 AM by the time we got to the house. I had my grandma in my thoughts as I laid in my grandparents' bed.

 

It was around 7:30 when I woke up and I immediately walked down the stairs to wait for my uncle to be done getting ready. I asked my cousin what was taking her dad so long but she didn't know. Before I knew it I heard my uncle come down the stairs and caught him with a few tears in his eyes. Something must have happened but I didn't want to assume anything. The moment we got to the hospital, I fast walked to the ICU. My parents were already in front of my grandma's room and all I saw were their long faces. As I got closer to them, they shook their heads at me. I didn't want to believe them and I had to see it for myself. I went into the room and closed the door. For the first time in my life, I have never felt the way that I did at that very moment. My heart was aching, I couldn't feel anything in my body, and my eyes have never been so sore. My mom held me up so I wouldn't collapse on the floor. It was a moment I'll never forget.

 

 

ESTELA FAVOR

July 31, 1945 - June 22, 2014

 

 

We were able to have my grandma's viewing services and funeral the following week at Glen Abbey. It was the most difficult thing that I've had to go through in my entire life. Even though she made fun of me for the way I looked and pushed me to get straight A's in school all the time, I knew that she meant well. She loved me the same way that I love her.

 

During that time, my grandpa was still weak and had to be pushed around in a wheelchair. It was nice to have him back home, but I always wished that he would be as strong as he was before my grandma got sick. Over time he was unable to move or speak, but me and my siblings were still able to keep him company. He was at his happiest when my little 6 year old sister would talk to him. His smile was so big whenever she was in his sight. He just loved that girl so much. It's also the same with my 12 year old brother. Since he is his only grandson, my grandpa has always spoiled him a bit too much. He supported my brother's football career every step of the way and there wasn't ever a time he wouldn't attend his games.

 

Luckily I had a conversation with my grandpa about his 2002 Mustang and how he's going to let me drive it. Ever since I was little he would always talk about me having his car whenever he drove me around. But this time it was different since I was about to get my driver's license at the time. "Kaitlyn, the Mustang is yours. Remember when I told you that you have to take me and grandma to the commissary and Navy exchange? Now you can go wherever you want." All I could do was just nod and smile because I was holding in the tears. Before I knew it, that the last time I would ever talk to him.

 

It was a great coincidence that my grandma's birthday is also her 40th day prayer. So we had a big celebration for my grandma at the hall down the street of their apartment. All of her close friends and family came by and everyone enjoyed each other's company. Unfortunately my grandpa wasn't feeling too well so he decided to stay in bed. I stayed with my grandpa most of the time, and even his friends dropped by to visit him too. However he just slept the entire time. I honestly didn't want to leave his side, but I had to go to a school event the next morning. I said goodbye to my grandpa and kissed him on the cheek good night.

 

Two days later, my dad woke me up at 2 o' clock in the morning. He knocked on my door so loud that I jumped when I woke up. "Kaitlyn! Hurry up! We're going to grandma and grandpa's house right now!" I was still puzzled at what was going on but I didn't hesitate. I ran to the garage once I finished changing into warmer clothes. As we were heading to my grandparent's house, I was focused on keeping myself calm and praying that my grandpa is still with us. We parked in front of their apartment and I stormed out of the car. I opened the front door and a few of my close family members were already there. The room felt so blue and I saw many tears being shed. I looked over to my grandpa's bed to the right and I suddenly lost all feeling in my body. I slowly walked over to his bed, fell down to my knees, and cried on the floor. I didn't want to believe it, but it was too late.

 

 

 RIZALDO FAVOR

 June 19, 1943 - August 2, 2014

 

Later that morning right after the people took my grandpa's body, we all went to IHOP for breakfast. It was tradition that every other Sunday my grandpa would call us to get together for breakfast at IHOP. It was weird at first when we got there since I realized that it was the first time that we ate as a family without my grandparents. But we just focused on the good times that we've had with my grandma and grandpa (and also enjoying some delicious pancakes and much needed coffee).

 

Before my grandpa passed, one thing that he really wanted was for his services to be on the weekend. Fortunately, it gave enough time for my family members from all over the globe to come to San Diego. Some of the places that my family live in would be as close as San Francisco to as far as South Korea. Although it was a sad time, it was a great chance to see my family that I haven't seen in years. Thankfully all of the love and comfort from my friends and family made this experience a bit less depressing.

 

I've been to more funerals than weddings in my life and this is something that I'll never forget. Having to go to one funeral is pretty hard. But going to another funeral less than 2 months later... now that is hard. Especially when they're funerals for people who have loved each other so much, and has shared that same love with you. Witnessing my grandpa being lowered down into the same grave site just right above where my grandma was buried was something that my heart couldn't bear. There were so many emotions running through me. I was sad that my grandparents were gone, disappointed that I didn't spend as much time with them, but on top of that, so happy that they were not suffering anymore and that they'll be together for all of eternity.

 

I'm not going to lie, this wasn't one of the best summer vacations for me. I'm actually pretty shocked at myself for remembering all of these little details, but what's even more shocking to me is that two of the most important people in my life who have practically raised me have left this world so unexpectedly. I'll never forget the times that they would babysit me and my siblings, the amazing Filipino food that they cooked for us, my grandpa calling us on days that we wouldn't go to their house, and overall the love and support that they have given me my whole life. Honestly if it weren't for my grandparents, I wouldn't be the person that I am today and I thank them so much for everything that they have taught me.

 

I know that this a weird way to tell my story, but I just had to share this experience with all of you. One of the main reasons why I did this is because I've already told this story to several of my close friends and family. Now anyone who is curious to know a little bit about me can just read this whenever they want. But more importantly, I wrote this so that you can all understand the reason why I started this project. For my Senior Project, I wanted to do something that reflects back on my grandparents. That's why I decided to focus on my Filipino heritage, but I didn't want to stop there. I set out to stretch out towards other East Asian countries and to discover new things about their cultures. So hopefully by the end of it all, I will make my grandparents proud and do them justice by dedicating this project to them.

 

Anyways let's not be mopey about what happened to me in the past. Let us focus on what's to come in the future. Jessica and I are already planning so many exciting things for this blog and we can't wait to to share our knowledge with you guys!!!